Awakened Bellydance-How It Changed The Trajectory Of My Life!

Is anyone else feeling that we are at a tipping point ? Are you too, feeling like you are at a crossroads and you have a choice which way you will go ? You know you can continue down that path to chaos and overwhelm, or you can relax, release and relearn ways to to cope and get back on track? For me it feels like its the time for the last big push to shed old outdated versions of myself, the old patterns and conditioning falling away, in rediness for the charging in of the firehorse energy.

I know I am ! So it feel it really important to not only share my journey with Awakened Bellydance with you all today,

But also for myself to acknowledge and appreciate just how far I've come !

Reminding myself and all of you that its ok to pause and reflect , give ourselves a well deserved pat on the back before taking action but dont get stuck in the story, the what ifs, the how ? Its the action, no matter how uncomfortable, that moves us forward and creates changes - big or small. E-motion is energy in motion !

All to often we are so good at seeing the change in others, listening , holding space and supporting, cheering them on but we forget that to do that for ourselves to !

So here I am, almost unrecognizable from this past version of me. But I a appreciate and love her so much for bringing me to where I am now.

Would you believe just a few short months before this event, this version of me was living in a completely different reality ?

Although I didnt realise it at the time

Most of the time I was living in fear disguised as love and safety.

The 16yr old version of me, that just wanted to be loved , heard , seen & excepted was running the show.

To scared to speak up for myself.

To scared to be in my body. Drowing in stuff, neatly packed in boxes and crammed into every available shelf and cupboard. Juggling an impossible ammount of roles and seemily getting no where. Determining my self worth on the lack of success or the amount of money I was earning - being told my 14hr a day business that often feed us, clothed us and paid for all the fun stuff - was just a hobby was soul destroying !

Cutting my hair short to cut away the feminine. Living predominatly in my masculine energy & ego force focused on logic, action, and independence.

Although I didnt know it at the time, cutting my hair was the only thing I felt I had control of back then ! I was exausted and running on empty but I just kept going , pushing forward waiting for that one day when he would change ! To scared to admit that the life I was living didnt fit or serve me any more and when I did speak up the repurcussions were unbareable.

I literally felt life constricting around me, just like the snake, yet no matter how much it squeezed me, there was bizarely a feeling of safety in the unsafe.

You know the old saying " better the devil you know "....

With Awakened Bellydance came many huge life changes - Letting go of my art studio (my safe space) and everything I had dreamed of creating there - including all accumilated materials , tools furniture and artworks

Selling the family home & possessions to start a debt free , mortgage free , self led, gentler, of grid "new life" on a barge.

Courage and strength to end and divorce the man I thought I loved and would be with forever - my abuser after 33years

Bought and Lived in a caravan by the beach - not the dream life I imagined, for sure but many more lesson - More fear and insecurity Learnt to Stroll and Jive Started a small gardening business

3 x Awakened Bellydance facilitator training in Egypt

Living in egypt for 3 months on my own ! Changed my name to Rivers - that came through on the training ! 2 x Inner Dance facilitator training & Access bars practisioner training neither of which I had ever heard of before and yet they to have added to my life changes ! Facilitated Awakened Bellydance and Inner Dance at various events locally and around the uk . Connecting with women on a deeper level than I ever thought or felt possible - healing the mother wound , the sister wound , the witch wound , the whore wound in the process. Creatively expressing my vissions and emotions that I experienced during my Awakened Bellydannce sessions. Then collaborating with 3 other women artists in the " Forever Wild " art festival. Having 6 of those artworks and my thoughts published in a Womens Journal and taking part in the launch Let go of my fear of being seen ! Now the truth comes with acceptance and being ! I truely accept and celebrate my art and creativity for all that it is without judgement. Knowing it is a deeply personal expression of mental , physical and emotional experiences. The journey of grounding, nourishing and healing first and formost for me, but also for all those who come into contact with it - And that acknowledgement has brought me so much joy ! I have deeper undertanding of myself and the stories, behaviours and patterns that I was running and how to release or reprogramme them. I speak with passion and purpose and know that not everyone will see, hear or understand me and I'm ok with that now because I know that how someone else perceives me, their reactions and emotions are not my responsbility. I except my body, her shape, her limitations, her vulnerabilities I live my life in my body and not as the observer . Knowing now that life is happening for me not to me. its happening for my growth and expansion and in any given moement I have a choice to stay where I am , change direction or move forward ! I have a deep trust of my body and my intuition to guide me .

Right now with the shedding of more layers recently with AWBD and energy whispering with Katie Holland , I feel like I am coming into alignment everyday with who I actually came here to be and the gifts and wisdom that I already hold. I fully embody the work that I do because I know how powerful this process is. And I know what a F@cking awesome facilitator I am and the results women have when they work with me , speak for themselves ! So this year I'm commited to bringing it to more women space and places. I am excited to say these experiences continue to inspire and motivate my art, classes and offereings in a new ways and directions that I would never have thought possible 5 years ago. If I'm honest I would have never dreamed of let alone chosen any of these paths for myself at that time either! The empowerment of women through self expression is key ! I look forward to sharing more with you soon. Want to follow my journey in more depth or join in deeper conversations and connection with like minded women come join us in my village First 4 photos me on my first Facilitator training in Egypt 2021 Last photo me facilitating a group at Goddess Conscious Camp 2025